by Kate Austin, Owner/CEO

Today's guest-post is from elder-Millennial Kate Austin, owner of Advokate, LLC. She's a granddaughter, a daughter, and a mother. And, apparently, she's also very wise. - SFM

What if we celebrated our friends and daughters’ first grey hairs with the same enthusiasm and chutzpah with which we celebrate their first steps, first job, or first drink? Whatever we need to feel beautiful, we should do. There’s no shame in that.

I’m not against self-care, but …
… our wrinkles mean we smiled.
… our mom-bellies mean we loved.
… our sunspots mean we enjoyed the outdoors.
… our muffin tops mean like good food.
… our grey hairs mean we made it.

These days, we can’t escape those pushing all sorts of anti-aging products at us: serums for youthful skin, injections for plump lips, dyes for grey hairs, push-up bras for sagging breasts, and modern-day corsets to fit in that dress we used to wear.

Recently, I was criticizing myself about how I looked, and friends reminded me how I would never talk that way about someone else. I’ve been thinking about that.

In other cultures, the elders are sacred and treasured. Their wisdom is priceless.

I remember during COVID, my Nonnie couldn’t get a haircut and the nursing home lost her dentures. She would be embarrassed about me sharing that, but I think it’s important because it was the only time I saw her as this majestic elder. There was something knowing, even mystical about her in that state. Like Moana’s grandma.

We don’t have the privilege of seeing our mothers and grandmothers like that very often, truly old, the way old really looks.

What if we aspired to it, though? The achievement of a long life well lived, a long grey braid, a gums-only crabapple grin. Badges of honor. Every birthday an achievement that we don’t all have and many aspire to. Realizing that it is an absolute privilege to age; a privilege that is not afforded to all.

Every wrinkle another memory, another life lesson under our belts.

I kid about my evolution into a “swamp witch.” Like there's a day when I will just be an orb in a muumuu hobbling around with wild hair and a big stick. You know, the crone. The hag. The old witch. I'm already 80% there (at least in my mind) when I roll out of bed in the morning. And I'm the youngest old person I know!

But why do we recoil from the swamp witch within us, wanting to be 17 forever? I was an idiot at 17! Honestly, I'd much rather be surrounded by cats and muttering at those who cross me. And muumuus are comfortable.

But seriously, folks, let's remove the stigma around "old.”

It's an honor to age. These years we’re stepping into are precious, and as productive as we want them to be. We get to live life, now as a sage, with the appreciation of experience, insight, and a certain lack of drama and bullshit that many young people don't have.

What if we didn’t joke about turning into our mothers in a negative way, but hoped to turn into all the best parts of our mothers and celebrated how strong, how caring, how brave, how much we understand them more with every year as we follow in their footsteps, honoring the blood, sweat and tears that went into clearing this path for us, as best they could with what they had?

What if we decided to rebel and be pro-aging?

What if we did it as a huge group and applauded and celebrated each other for these continuing milestones of life that mark the moments we all go through?

Why stop at quinceañera at age 15? Why not a cincuentañera when we turn 50? Let's celebrate these continuing milestones—it's not just getting married and turning 21 that should be big party moments. How about getting divorced, the third career we're embarking on, or the day we stopped dyeing our hair?

“Welcome to the club, beautiful. You made it.”

Self-care, sure. We all deserve to make our own decisions about what that means. But how about a cultural shift away from anti-aging, and toward pro-aging?

There’s plenty of life left to live.

P.S. Look for updates on the Madrina Molly Community. Coming Soon!

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Copyright © Madrina Molly, LLC 2024. All rights reserved.

The information contained herein and shared by Madrina Molly™ constitutes financial education and not investment or financial advice

Sherry Finkel Murphy, CFP®, RICP®, ChFC®, is the Founder and CEO of Madrina Molly, LLC.

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