Everyone, Everywhere, All the Time

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I’m having a delightful time reading Dr. Andrew Scott’s new release, The Longevity Imperative. Maybe it’s delightful because he’s saying many of the things I’ve been saying (and living!) as I transit my second half. I mean, who can resist someone who agrees with you? In this book, Scott discusses how we have two ways to view an aging society: as a problem or an opportunity. I strongly favor the latter, because I’m far from being ready to be put out to pasture. #NotYoungNotDone

The real message of the book is not, “Fix the problem of ageism and lack of infrastructure to keep second-halfers productive because the Boomers are here.” Rather, it’s, “Fix the problem of ageism and lack of infrastructure, etc., because when Millennials and GenZ turn 60, there will be an equal number of people over and under 60 years of age. And we have an opportunity to eradicate ageism and build a longevity economy for their future. Actuarially, they are the ones who will be living to 100. (Although, some of us Boomers and BoomXers have the same expectation.)

One of the reasons I’m optimistic about the opportunities provided by longevity is because I’m investing in a relationship with my stepchildren and grandchildren at the same time I’m continuing my relationship with my own mother. There’s 96 years between Hurricane Jackie and my youngest grandchild; that’s a century of experience, inventions, wisdom and change.

While they (the younger folks) will continue to have access to technology that makes my head spin, I will be able to share some universal truths that, just maybe, they won’t have to learn the hard way. That’s what we do, right? We mentor future generations. (See my post on Generativity.)

Today’s grandparents and great grandparents have the opportunity to improve the experiences of two and three generations down the line. That is simply mind-blowing.

When you were growing up, did you get to know your grandparents? Were they able to see you into adulthood? I had the benefit of meeting three of my four grandparents, plus an aunt who was like a grandmother. I knew two of them into adulthood and one until I was 40, and I had a special relationship with Grandma Margie (she of the Depression-era habit of putting fancy buttons harvested from worn clothes onto fresh clothing to make them “special”). In her honor, I have dubbed her birthday, June 25th, Fancy Buttons Day, and dress accordingly.

Do you realize that your children expect to know their grandparents into adulthood? Do you realize that your grandchildren are likely to know all their grandparents and some of their great-grandparents into adulthood? And do you realize that many of your families have more than four grandparents, maybe a lot more?

Grandchildren, as a rule, do not care who is a blood relative and who is not. What they see is all that wisdom and people who want to share it. They also see people who need to be accommodated at Thanksgiving. Finally, they see a lot of people about whom they’re going to be worrying as everyone ages.

This all creates extraordinary pressure to build new infrastructure to support four and five generations living contemporaneously for the first time in history. Crazy.

For starters, we have caregiving challenges both at the childcare and eldercare ends of the spectrum. There are not enough professional caregivers to meet our needs. And the cost is prohibitive.

There are policy people working on fixes to both ends of the caregiving conundrum. But most of the best fixes are local and familial. Grandma and Grandpa may need to give up a little of their time to babysit (not a chore for many, but everyone is different). Children need to rethink their retirement if they are actively involved in eldercare. And before you think that you have enough means to address this, you may not be able to take your spouse on a month-long cruise if s/he is obligated to attend to a 90-year-old parent. (Hurricane Jackie has asked me not to gallivant around the world right now. We compromised when I agreed to stay on the continent.) Twenty-five years ago, this might not have been a concern.

And grandchildren may need to adapt their lives because they’re helping Grandma and Grandpa do things around the house. These are conversations your financial planner should encourage. We can’t afford to plan in a vacuum when there are so many more family members who might impact our plan’s success or failure.

Next, we have a terrible challenge with housing stock. The media loves to vilify corporate entities known for buying up single-family homes. But my take is that the problem is the single-family home itself. Who says it’s a good idea for all generations to live separately? That’s a failed 20th Century experiment, if you ask me.

What’s more, remember that Ryan Frederick (here.life) says that only 4% of housing stock is accessible. Seniors are stuck in place because they can’t find care facilities. Boomers are stuck in place because they can’t downsize to a friendlier floorplan (i.e., without stairs). Millennials are stuck in place because they can’t purchase and may not want to. And that’s okay. And GenX is seeing their GenZ kids boomerang back home, sometimes with a young family.

In short, we don’t have enough housing stock and we don’t have the right housing stock. The Hubs and I joke that to solve the problem for ourselves, we should build a Ponderosa-style compound on a large piece of land so there’s a separate building for everyone. I’m not so certain it’s a joke any longer. According to Pew Research institute, the number of multi-generational households has increased four-fold since the 1970s. In 2021, 18% of the population was living cross-generationally under one roof. Something’s got to give in the housing market. And I think we’re going to see a lot more innovation take hold.

Third, we often find ourselves providing financial help to everyone else when we may not be in a position to do so. (That’s a big discussion.) You’ve probably heard the advice to secure your own oxygen mask before helping someone else. And that holds true for your retirement. Yet, I see a whole bunch of clients who are not doing that.

Also, per my post, Family Is A Fixed Expense, we are failing to account for the casual assistance we provide to children and parents. I’m not saying we shouldn’t provide it. I’m implying, strongly, that it’s important to account for it in our monthly spending expectations.

Where parents are concerned, if they qualify for any kind of aid (SNAP food benefits, Medicaid, etc.), it’s essential that we know the rules about how much they are permitted to hold in assets. It’s possible to completely disqualify a parent from aid by depositing a few hundred to a few thousand dollars into their bank accounts. That’s a tragedy, and it happens too often. Since qualification rules are determined state-by-state, do your research and find out what’s allowed where you live.

The bottom line is that we’re all a bit stuck. But there’s a lot of good stuff in motion to be optimistic about:

· A bill in Congress that will rebate unpaid family caregivers for some of their expenses.

· New and creative housing solutions designed and developed with multiple generations in mind.

· Boomers getting hip to the fact that they want to invest in their bodies and minds and to stay in the workforce to avoid spending down prematurely, whether or not they save more.

It’s probably as alien to Millennials as it is to their parents that multi-generational living in the U.S. is on the horizon. It’s not alien to those in other countries, or those who immigrated to the U.S. There’s an opportunity to share costs, caregiving, and quality time in ways that we never have before. And that’s because we will have an opportunity to know our great-grandparents and our great-grandchildren while we are still vibrant. Let’s take advantage of that. #WeRescueOurselves #BoomX #Boomers #TripledeckerclubSandwichGeneration

Reading:
Andrew J Scott, The Longevity Imperative
Pew Research

Copyright © Madrina Molly, LLC 2024. All rights reserved.

The information contained herein and shared by Madrina Molly™ constitutes financial education and not investment or financial advice

Sherry Finkel Murphy, CFP®, RICP®, ChFC®, is the Founder and CEO of Madrina Molly, LLC.

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